Hawaii

So after 9 years of marriage, Scott and I finally went on a honeymoon. Sure we went on plenty of climbing, camping, and biking trips during our first 3 years, then we had Mercedes, 3 years of chemo and now Aspen, but we've never gone on an actual trip anywhere together. Scott had to go to Honolulu for work so I met him there a few days later. My wonderful parents flew in from Alaska to keep the girls while we were gone (Grandma and Grandpa are so fun Mercedes was a bit sad we came home).

The night I got there we were awakened at 4 am by howling winds and torrents of rain. The next morning there were power outages, downed trees, flooding, cable out, roads closed and record waves on the north shore. It just kept on raining, but we still had fun just being together. We snorkeled in Hanauma Bay - in the rain, went to a magic show, ate in the rotating restaurant at "The Top of Waikiki", exlpored Waikiki's fabulous shopping, visited the Polynesian Cultural Center, drove to Kailua to kayak and then had to turn around because of the weather. Our last day we woke up to sunshine and beautiful weather and we made the most of it. We hiked to Manoa Falls in the morning, drove back to Kailua and kayaked to the Mokolua Islands. It was so gorgeous. Just after we pulled the kayak on shore it started sprinkling again. We decided to drive up to the North Shore just to see it, but by the time we go there it was dark and we had to head back to the airport. We had the 11pm flight (2am Utah time) and arrived in Utah at 9am.

We had such a great time without the girls, but we sure missed them and were glad to come home.

Give Thanks

Things I am Thankful for:
- My life. I no longer take for granted the privilege of moving and breathing. Besides, I haven't eaten enough key lime pie with Mercedes yet.
- Mercedes. I love that she loves kindergarten, her sister, and dolphins. Obsession? Her teacher, Miss Allen deemed it passion; which makes the dolphin craze more purposeful. Who knows, maybe she'll become a marine biologist. She feels life deeply. She cries when she's happy and when she's sad.
- Aspen. She is a miracle. My Dr.'s said we couldn't have more children and she just warms our hearts and makes us laugh daily. She's a little mini Scott crawling around wreaking havoc wherever she goes - sounds like Scott doesn't it.
- Scott. He loves his girls and we love him. What else matters? He does keep me outfitted in nice jeans and shoes. I'd still be wearing stuff from college.
- My Parents and Sisters. I couldn't have hand picked a better group of people to have fun with and get me through those tough spots in life. Those simple times on the ranch seem more appealing now that the world is more complicated.

To summarize, I'm grateful for the wonderful people in my life that make each day beautiful.

Little Mozart

Aspen loves to pound on the piano. She and Mercedes will sit together and make their own beautiful music.

Halloween

If you know Mercedes very well you know she is absolutely OBSESSED with dolphins. Even in journal time at school all she writes about it dolphins. Today she had me spell the word 'frisky' for her to put in her little book about dolphins. So luckily I found a dolphin costume on Ebay; it's a little too big so she's planning on wearing it next year. Of course Aspen could be nothing else but a little pink piggy. It just suits her.

Aspen is Mobile

So Aspen officially started crawling yesterday. We all just keep putting interesting things in front of her to get her going, especially paper and books. She more motivated to crawl when she's without clothes thus only the diaper in the video. I'm so thrilled because I didn't get to see Mercedes learn to crawl. Scott has built some custom gates for the top and bottom of the stairs out of some really cool 3form material called fossil leaf - our stairs are really wide. Now we have to really pay attention whats left laying around which will be really hard with Mercedes; she leaves little piles of stuff everywhere she goes; eg. leaves, rocks, carrot buddies (carrots from the garden that are too small to eat), pictures she's colored, food - piles everywhere. Crawling is fun but adds a little more complication to keeping order in life. Hopefully her new skill will keep her occupied and happy and less evening fussies. We just love her to pieces!

California Fires

I know that I, and I'm sure many of us, watch the news and see these fires and the devastation they cause to people, their homes and belongings. We watch and think 'How terrible' and then go on with the rest of our day because really, are we in any imminent danger?

Look at this picture. It was taken by my friend Linn who lives in the neighborhood we just moved from in Mission Viejo. This was where we used to call home, and where part of us still wishes we could still be. This really could be us; or any of us for that matter and I have to spend just a moment on self-introspection; when did I become so apathetic to the possible and probable catastrophes of this day? When was the last time I updated our 72 hour kits? Aspen doesn't even have one yet.

I was humbled by this picture because it did hit so close to home and this blog is to help remind me to work on my physical as well as spiritual preparedness.

Park City

This last weekend Scott had the sales conference for 3form in Park City at the Canyons Resort. Mercedes just happened to have Fall Break from school so we were able to go up and hang out (go to the outlets of course). It was Aspens first time in a pool and her little legs just wouldn't stop. Mercedes is a fish and could've stayed in the pool all day. We miss having the pool just around the corner like we did in CA. When it was time to go Mercedes cried, and cried, and continued to break down into tears the rest of the day because she didn't want to leave. She even said in family prayer that night "Please help me not to be sad about leaving Park City." She's such a sweet girl.

Fall Flu

Mercedes never got sick as a baby. In fact the only time she ever threw up was between 1 and 2 in the car almost anytime we went anywhere. She was always carsick. Well some nasty bug invaded our house a couple of weeks ago. Aspen had been abnormally fussy and at 3am it all came up, and kept coming. She couldn't keep anything down for 12 hours. My little tiny was pale and lethargic. She could finally keep 1/2 oz down at a time. It's taken her a week to get back to normal but now her nights are all messed up and we need our sleep.

Three days after Aspen got sick, Scott and I were down in the basement when I heard Mercedes call my name and then some strange sounds. I ran to the bottom of the stairs and looked up and there was Mercedes standing with a bowl in her hands throwing up in it. What 5 year old has the presence of mind to grab a bowl? It was 6 pm and until 6 am the next morning she didn't go 20 minutes without throwing up - that's a minimum of 36 times in 12 hours. We put her on the floor in our room hoping sleep would help calm her tummy, but we were jumping out of bed every 20 minutes. Finally at 1am Scott and I decided to take shifts. He got in Mercedes bed and she got in with me. At 4 in went in and woke Scott up, said "She's still throwing up every 20 minutes" and crashed in Mercedes bed. She didn't eat anything solid for 2 days and only got off the couch once the first day to go to the bathroom. She's a skinny girl to begin with, barely over 30 pounds, but she looked anorexic. The worst part for her was that she couldn't go to kindergarten. She talked me into letting her go back sooner than I should've let her; I wouldn't let her go out to recess and she was exhausted after the 3 hours of school. But she bounced back the next day.

Scott and I both got a little sick but not bad. My prayer after all the chemo sickness was that no child of mine would ever have to deal with pain, sickness and suffering like that and I hurt deeply for those parents that do. A very difficult moment for me was once while waiting for my turn for radiation, a small child was wheeled into the room that looked like a dungeon and following her was the anesthesia cart. Children should not get cancer. I'm thankful every day for healthy children with strong bodies and minds.

Summer Vacations

We were able to get away twice this summer for some fun vacation time. In June, over Scott's birthday, we went to Jackson Hole for a week. We stayed at my sister and brother-in-law's house in Victor, Id which is just over the pass from Jackson. I don't think we've ever had such a relaxing vacation. We had no agenda and just did whatever sounded good at the time. We went on quite a few bike rides and fished in the ponds just out the back door. It was some much needed down time. Scott's dad and the Leavitts (we missed you Emma) from California came for a few days so Mercedes had some playmates. It was hard to come back to the real world.

In August we were able to go visit my parents in Alaska. They've finally settled in Haines, which is north up the Lynn Canal from Juneau. It's quite a trek to get there. The flight got into Seattle in the evening with a 3 hour layover, then into Juneau where we arrived at 11pm (Alaska time) and had the catch the slow ferry into Haines at midnight. We crashed in a cabin and docked in Haines at 4:30 am. I was worried about Aspen doing ok on the trip, but the girls did great.

Alaska is so beautiful! At least where my parents live it is. The ocean and forests and glaciers - it's just so different from the ranching community in Montana where I grew up. There's wild berries all over, which is great fun for the kids. We got to go out on my Dads boat, the Legacy, and sight see. We went to a wildlife park that filmmaker Steve Kroschel has set up by Mosquito Lake. We saw wolves, reindeer, moose, porcupines, lynx and many more in and almost petting zoo type scenario. I got a little nervous when they brought the lynx out on a leash - then took the leash off and just had it sit by them. We went into Skagway one day to do the touristy thing; most of the cruise ships stop there. Dad does most of his electrical work in Skagway when he's not fishing. We looked for bears up the Chilkat, but it was too early in the season. We left church early because the power had gone out and right after we left a bear decided to show up. That's what get for skipping church! It was sunny and warm the entire time we were there. Scott had to leave before me and girls and I was worried about making the trip back myself. It went well - we took the fast ferry (2 hours instead of 4) to Juneau, stayed the night and took the 6am flight out the next morning. I can't wait to go back!

What's Scott Doing These Days?

He's not in Wireless anymore!!! Scott was in Wireless Sales Management for 9 years; before we left California he was the Regional Manager for Southern Orange County but he just wasn't getting a whole lot of job satisfaction anymore so we went on the hunt for a new career. His favorite part of his job was Sales Training so he set his sights on that.

Scott interviewed with 3form in August and started with them as their Sales Trainer/Coordinator on August 27th. 3form is such a cool company, they are manufacturers of ecoresin, a co-polyester recycled content product, used to make panels containing textiles, natural objects, and textures for architecture and design. Go to their website, http://www.3-form.com/, to see what they do. Go to the portfolio section to some of their projects. He has been traveling a lot over the last couple of months; Maryland, Seattle a few times, Denver a bunch. In the last week he went to Chicago, Totornto, Minneapolis and in two weeks the Netherlands. He likes the travel but doesn't like being away from his three girls.

Scott has also put time into real estate and buying properties; he currently is building two town homes in Park City, UT nestled in the mountains with a view of Jordanelle reservoir. He would love to move to Park City permanently but we will have to see about that. Scott would like to venture into the Toronto, Canada market and is currently looking for some spaces in a downtown high rise development.

Aspen - The Perfect Miracle

Being my first blog, I feel it necessary to document what I deem the most important event in our lives thus far this year - the birth of Aspen Eve Flygare.

So a bit of history. On October 14th, 2002 I was diagnosed with cancer; T-Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma. On October 18th, within 24 hours of the Life Flight from St. George to Salt Lake City, Utah, we were told by my Oncologist that I would be sterile, that we would never be able to have more children. Mercedes was only 9 months old. At that time I didn't and couldn't fully comprehend those words, but as time ticked on and after three years of chemo I could truly look forward into my future, I felt an enormous gaping hole. Was our family complete? I didn't think so. After we moved to California, my oncologist there said even if we did get pregnant, we'd probably have a monster baby. I saw a perinatologist and she said there wasn't even enough research out there to know what would happen, but after discussing my case with my oncologist, they decided we would be safe to start trying for a baby six months post chemo and the only way to know if I was sterile was if we couldn't get pregnant.

My last day of chemo was June 9th, 2005, my 28th birthday. So six months later we started trying for a baby, and in January; a shock, we were pregnant! It was a combination of elation and fear; fear that there would be something wrong with the baby. Something didn't feel right and the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.

We had to wait another 3 months to try again and once again we were pregnant right away. This time everything felt right to me, and it was. The pregnancy went perfectly and on February 15th, 2007 another great miracle came to our family. Aspen (because we love the name), Eve (in Hebrew it means 'life' and we were celebrating mine and hers) Flygare was born 6 lbs 11 oz in the American Fork, Utah hospital. I've heard of love at first sight, or immediate bonding with a baby, but with Mercedes I was so uptight it took me a while to develop a strong bond; but with Aspen I was in love with her the second I saw her. She is truly a miracle and we have never been so blessed as to have two daughters of God entrusted to us.

Aspen is an exact girly replica of Scott. Their newborn pictures are indistinguishable. Mercedes is my clone, so we have one of each and it's so fun. They hardly look like sisters, but they love each other so much. Mercedes is the best big sister and so helpful to mom. Aspen is calm and goodnatured and I have found my niche at this stage in life.

The other day I looked at Scott with tears in my eyes and said, "I will get to see her learn to crawl, and learn to walk, and that means everything to me." I missed that with Mercedes; and I, and we as a family, have been given another chance. I got to see Mercedes off to her first day of Kindergarten this year. The firsts are wonderful, but it's the everyday moments that I deem sacred because I missed so many of them.